Guess what? I'm suffering from depression, or so says my doc. Go me.
Hearing somebody say it actually made me feel bit better. I've been slouching languidly around for a few months now, accomplishing sod all, and I've felt really guilty about it because I thought I was just being listless and lazy. I've been giving myself such a hard time over it, thinking I've been letting myself down. It's been like being stuck in a feedback loop.
But when he said it, I felt a bit less wretched. All those times I've been slumped in my chair, lacking the will to do anything but waste my time and think dismal thoughts; all those times I felt like caving my own head in, hunched over a keyboard, frustrated that I wasn't able to see anything past the tips of my fingers; it fell into focus somewhat. There is Something Wrong With Me, and I need to work on getting better.
I'm not taking anything for it. And shrinks are for assholes, as Jesse Custer once said. So I've listened to some advice and I'm going to try the old self help option. Keeping this blog updated more regularly will probably help. There are a few more things I'll be trying out, too. Hopefully if I can keep to them I'll begin to feel a bit better about myself. Might even have the added bonus of living a slightly healthier life, too.
In any case, it'll be good for me. I think I've been crying out to make some changes to the way I live my life for some time. Perhaps this kick up the arse is one that's sorely overdue.
Darren Ellis writes, except when he doesn't.
When he doesn't he's more than likely doing something sedentary and fun, like playing video games or reading a book. Or procrastinating over what he's supposed to be writing.
Oh yes. He does that last one quite a bit.
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