Another Step Forward

Draft 2 of 'Broken' is complete! The 'Chronological Edit' is now done, and all that remains is to reassemble it into the original order and give the dialogue the once over.

This stage of the process was quite educational. I realised a few of the things I'd been doing were a bit redundant. There was a lot of repetition in there, mostly because I lost track of who had said what and when, so I had a few instances where the characters would go over the same material. It's given me a chance to edit that out and replace it with more pertinent character information and exposition. Now I know nothing occurs out of sequence, and everything that's there needs to be there.

I've used the opportunity to further explore some of the themes that underline the story itself, so that the villain's irritating habit of smugly smiling at the hero is given more emphasis. It makes him seem that much more of a patronising arsehole. I also found room to slip in a few references to the idea of wasting your second chances, which heightens the notion that the hero has become so obsessed with the past sins committed against him that he may well have been squandering other opportunities to turn his life around. I'm not sure if I've made enough of it to make the grade, but it's an interesting notion nonetheless and it currently forms the backbone of the ending and gives him a bit more character growth.

There's a few more things to do once I've rebuilt it into its proper shape. Some of the dialogue is a bit unconvincing - my working class squaddie character has a tendency to become a bit sesquipedalian, which is a bit out of character, and I'd like to slang up his dialogue a bit more. There's less work to do with the other characters, but they could probably use a lick and spit, too.

And there it is - quite a productive week so far. Roll on Draft 3!

Still no new title, though...